Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep
by Darling Pretty
Summary: As the holidays approach, an overworked Addison wants a break. And thanks to a meeting in a bar, she gets one. But apparently this is a Christmas story and she has a lesson to learn. Addex oneshot!


**Merry Christmas! And Happy New Year! Here is a little gift from me to you! But first a couple orders of business.**

**First off, this is dedicated to one of my favorite people in the universe, Kate (Kate811), who managed to feel crappy on Christmas, which is just plain sad. So this is for her. And consequently, this story is alternately titled "Kate's Get Well Soon Story!" Feel better and cheer up, buttercup!**

**Secondly, just for future reference, Nasia is pronounced Nah-see-a. I think that's obvious, but I've heard people try to pronounce it nausea, which is definitely wrong and not pretty at all.**

**Thirdly, I own nothing.**

**Fourthly, enjoy!

* * *

**

"Nasia, sit _down_!" Addison practically screams when she glances in the rearview mirror and sees that her six year old has unbuckled her seatbelt and is turned around in her seat.

"But, Mama!" Nasia whines.

"Sit down and buckle your seatbelt or no dessert."

"Mommy, can Bucket come sit with me?"

"Absolutely not," Addison replies. They've just taken their new puppy, Nasia's present for her sixth birthday, in to the vet to get her shots.

"Why?" Nasia whines.

"Nasia Rose, is your seatbelt on?" Even though Addison keeps her eyes on the road, she hears a very suspicious thump and click.

"Why can't Bucket sit up with me? She's lonely in the back!"

Addison takes a deep breath. "Nasia, Bucket can't sit up with you because we are almost home and I can't have you climbing over the seat to get her. Besides that, as cute as Miss Bucket is, I don't want her jumping all over the seats."

"Why?"

"Nasia, I _said _no! Accept it and move on." Normally, Addison wouldn't be so short with her daughter, but today has not cooperated with her. The holidays are fast approaching and she's stretched thin with all of the preparations, the shopping, the puppy, and the whole having a family thing.

"Sorry," Nasia sulks under her breath. "Yeesh."

Addison sighs. "I'm sorry, Nasi. I'm just tired."

"You and Daddy were fighting again last night, weren't you?"

Addison's blue eyes shoot to her rearview mirror to make brief eye contact with her daughter's almost identical pair. "Nasia, your daddy and I…" She bites her lip, unsure how to continue. It's not that she doesn't love her husband. But it seems all they ever do lately is fight and she's just completely worn down. "Daddy and I love you very, very much, you know that, don't you?" Addison asks hopefully.

Nasia nods solemnly. "You just don't love each other very, very much anymore?" she finishes for Addison.

Addison pulls the car into their driveway and parks hastily. She turns around in her seat to look at the girl who is barely big enough to be out of a car seat but has managed to completely shock her mother. "Why would you say something like that?"

Nasia's big blue eyes fill with a world-weary look that is absurd coming from a six-year-old. "That's what Gillian's mommy and daddy told her when_ her_ daddy left."

Addison wants to cry but she takes a shaky breath and soldiers on. "Gillian's mommy and daddy are not _your _mommy and daddy, Nasia. Your daddy and I love each other almost as much as we love you and neither one of us is going anywhere. I promise. Now, how about you and I get Bucket into the backyard? You can hold her leash, if you want."

Nasia perks up instantly at that suggestion.

_2 Days Later_

"Damn it, Alex, pick up your phone!" Addison grumbles as she waits for an answer. All she gets is the answering machine. She hangs up with a roll of her eyes and tries again. Same results, but this time she waits through his automated response to leave a message. "Your daughter is sick," she snaps after the beep. "I just thought you'd like to know. I've been in surgery and she's been trying to reach you for the past half an hour. One of my nurses finally came in after the fifth call and let me know she was on the phone. I hope you're happy. I'm on my way to get her, so don't bother, if you get this message. In fact, don't bother coming home at all."

She hangs up and takes a deep, cleansing breath. And with that breath, she curses him for turning her promise to her daughter into a lie.

When Addison arrives in the school's office, she does a double take. The school nurse is a dead ringer for the nurse but Addison shakes it off and asks about her daughter. The nurse gestures to the room behind the desk, equipped with a large amount of disposable thermometers, a cot, and, for the time being, one little brown hair, blue eyed girl. "Nasi!" Addison exclaims, dropping to her knees beside the cot and pushing her daughter's hair out of her eyes.

"My tummy hurts, Mommy," she moans.

"Oh, ducky, I know. What if you and I go home and we'll lie on the couch and drink 7-Up and watch cartoons all day? Does that sound like fun? We'll have a Nasi-Mommy day."

Nasia smiles weakly. "I like Nasi-Mommy-" She doesn't get to finish her sentence because she turns a hideous shade of ashen green and bolts up. As Nasia starts to bend over, Addison instinctually shoots out her hands.

"Okay," she grimaces, trying not to gag herself and trying not to think about what is in her hands. "Just let me wash my hands and we'll make it a party."

0ooo0

Addison would scream in frustration if she didn't have a sick child to take care of. On her return to the house, she notices that Bucket seems to have abandoned her chew toys for a much, much more expensive stiletto heel. Addison packs Nasia off to get changed into her pjs before losing her temper.

"God damn it, Bucket! Bad girl! _Bad dog!_" She yanks the shoe away from the dog and almost smacks her with it. Bucket trembles, her usually hyperactive tail frozen between her legs. The poor Labrador whimpers and Addison feels the rage draining out of her. "Bucket, I'm sorry," she sighs. The puppy won't come near her. "I'm sorry, Bucket. Just… don't chew my shoes, okay?"

It takes some cajoling, and a dog treat, but Bucket finally allows Addison to scratch her ears and five minutes later, all is forgotten.

0ooo0

She glances down at the display of her phone as it rings and debates whether or not to pick it up. Nasia has been asleep for an hour now and her head is nestled in Addison's lap. Addison strokes her daughter's hair and clicks the call button. "Yes?" she says coldly.

"I was in surgery too, you know. You're not the only one with a career."

"Alex, I don't want to do this right now."

"Well, when then, Addison? When are we going to talk about the fact that you take every opportunity to turn me into a horrible father?"

"I don't think you're a horrible father!" Addison exclaims, then remembers the sleeping child in her lap and lowers her voice. "You're not always a grade A husband, but you're a great dad. Most of the time."

"Thanks," he says, the sarcasm in his voice practically withering the potted plant on the coffee table in front of Addison.

"Alex, I'm tired," she admits, shifting to cradle the phone between her ear and shoulder.

"Yeah, so am I."

"We have to think about Nasia… what's best for her."

"Did you mean what you said about me not coming home?"

"I don't know… I don't know anymore. I think- I think I need some time to think."

"And I think you don't know what you want. But you're not getting any thinking done taking care of a sick kid by yourself. I'm coming home."

"Alex-"

"Quit talking." He hangs up with those two words.

0ooo0

He makes her go out when he gets home, claiming she needs to get out of the house, to stop thinking about everybody else, that he can take care of the slumbering Nasia. She leaves after about an hour of protest and only after he promises to call if she gets a fever or throws up again.

She doesn't know what to go do, so she ends up at the bar. After her first drink, she starts to feel better. She looks over to the girl sitting next to her and would have done a spit take if she had taken a drink. "Excuse me," she says. "But are you, by any chance, a nurse of some sort?"

Her neighbor looks up with a frantic look that clearly says "Oh geez, why do the crazies always talk to me?"

"Sorry," Addison apologizes. "You just… look a lot like somebody I know."

"No, I, um, I'm not a nurse."

"Oh, sorry. It's just… You look incredibly similar to these two other women I've seen today. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear all three of you were the same person."

"Oh, um, sorry? I, uh, I guess I'm what you would call a good Samaritan or something. My job title and definition aren't really concrete."

"So what do you do?"

"I'm… well, I guess you would call me a facilitator."

"Excuse me?"

"It's hard to explain," the woman bows out, shaking her head. "What do you do?"

"I'm a surgeon. I work at Seattle Grace."

"Oh! I had my tonsils out there a few years back! Not fun. But the hospital was pretty nice."

"Yeah, my husband and I work there."

"Well, that's almost nauseatingly cute… So what are you doing here if you have a husband at home?"

"I… I'm supposed to be thinking," Addison confesses. "He thinks I don't know what I want."

"So what _do _you want?"

Addison thinks for a minute, afraid she might give the wrong answer or, even worse, be stumped by the question. "I want… I want… I want a world where I don't come home and find my two hundred dollar shoes shredded, where I don't have to catch throw up in my hands, where I don't fight with my husband any time someone breathes! I just want a break."

"Sounds like you know what you want," the woman shrugs. "And it could probably be arranged."

"Yeah," Addison replies, studying the bar. Her little outburst is starting to embarrass her.

"You know, it just occurred to me. I don't know your name."

"Addison," she introduces herself, holding out her hand to shake.

"I'm Katelyn," the other woman says, taking Addison's hand.

"Nice to meet you."

"Same to you."

"Well, I really should be going," Addison announces, gathering her things.

"Wait!" Katelyn exclaims. "Here, take this." She takes off the necklace she's wearing—one of those strong pieces of colored string with a small silver wishbone charm hanging off of it. "It's good for wishes."

"No, I couldn't."

"You need it more than me," Katelyn insists, pressing the necklace into Addison's palm. "But you have to put it on yourself or the wishes won't work."

Addison rolls her eyes but ties the string around her neck anyways. Katelyn smiles. "Okay, _now _you can go."

"It was nice to meet you."

"You, too. Good luck."

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind."

0ooo0

The next morning, Addison gets up to check on her daughter, hoping the stomach flu was just a twenty-four hour thing. She enters Nasia's room, only to discover the office it used to be. She frowns. If this is Alex's idea of a joke, it's not funny.

"Alex," she yells. "What the _hell _did you do to Nasia's room?"

When she doesn't get an answer, she walks out into her living room. She wants to rub her eyes when she sees the room. The Christmas tree she spent a couple hours decorating with Nasia is still there, but the decorations are all wrong. Gone are the handmade ornaments, the pictures, and the "fun" ornaments that Addison lets Nasia pick out every year and in their place are gorgeous, sparkling crystal ornaments and white lights. In fact, _all _of her Christmas decorations have been replaced by gorgeous pine, silver, and crystal decorations.

"Alex?" she calls. "Nasia?"

Again, she gets no response and she starts to get desperate. She runs to the back door and into the back door. "Bucket?"

Even her dog is gone.

And so is Nasia's play structure, now that Addison looks around. She runs back inside to look at the pictures on the mantle. It looks like someone took an eraser to them. There's not a single picture of Nasia or Alex, just her along with her friends and one with her brother.

"What the hell?" she wonders and goes out front. Even her Christmas lights are now a tasteful display, not something intended to make a six year old smile.

"It _is _what you asked for."

Addison jumps. The woman from last night is coming out of the house next door and retrieving the newspaper. "Excuse me?"

"You asked for this."

Addison gives her a dead stare. "Creepy. And awkward."

"I'm just saying, you wouldn't have gotten this if you didn't ask for it. The necklace makes sure of it."

"This is _not _what I asked for!"

"You asked for a break. You're getting a break."

"Where's my family?"

Katelyn shrugs. "I don't know. You're the one who wanted a break from it all. Not really my problem. My suggestion? Enjoy the break."

"Who the hell are you?"

Another shrug. "I'm a facilitator. I can't really tell you anything else. I'm sorry. Good luck!"

And then the unhelpful woman locks herself in the house next door. Addison rolls her eyes and goes back inside.

The house seems weirdly quiet when Addison reenters the house so she puts an old Christmas CD on the stereo. Immediately, the house feels a little warmer.

The decorations really are nice, she decides. They're ones that she would have chosen for herself before Nasia was around to worry about.

She's pleased to find that there is coffee in the coffee maker and pours herself some. Grasping her mug tightly, she sits in the living room, and can feel some of the tension start to leave her body. The peace and quiet _is _kind of nice for a change.

She's about to fall asleep when the phone rings. It startles her and she picks up quickly. "Hello?"

"I'm kidnapping you," a female voice announces.

"Callie?"

"Yep. Good job. Now, you had better be dressed, because I'm about five minutes away and you're going to be pissed if I drag you out in your pjs."

"Where are we going?"

"On an adventure!" Callie exclaims.

"To where?"

"I don't know yet. But I'm bored."

"No, Callie, I have to-"

"You have to what? What can you possibly have to do?"

"I, uh, well, I have to…" Addison tries to find something she has to do and realizes that her entire to-do list has disappeared. "I have to water the plants."

"Turn on the sprinklers," Callie replies flippantly. "Come on, Addison, we're hot, we're young, we're rich, and we're single. We deserve adventures!"

Addison laughs. "Okay, but I just woke up, so you're going to have to wait while I shower."

"Fine," Callie sulks. "I'll just sit and be bored in your house. You go get in the shower. I'll let myself in."

"You have a key?"

"Duh," Callie laughs. "I've had a key since you moved in. Where is your head at right now?"

0ooo0

"Callie, I don't think we can fit any more bags in your car!" Addison laughs. They've spent the day shopping. Addison is happy to observe that even though this universe is weird and different, Callie is exactly the same.

"Well, you should probably get home anyways."

Addison frowns. "Why?"

Callie looks at her like she's lost her mind. "You always insist on being home by eight on a work night. It's really, really boring. But I guess that's what you get for being named the Chief's successor."

"Successor? You make it sound like the royal lineage!" Addison giggles, but secretly is trying to process this new information. At first, when Addison had first come to Seattle, she had been certain that the position of Chief of Surgery was a lock. And even when she had realized that she would have to fight Derek, Mark, and Burke for it, she still knew she had a fairly good chance. But when she and Alex started finding themselves in on-call rooms, then at coffee, and progressing steadily towards an actual relationship, the race for Chief became less urgent. And when she had quietly mentioned that her period was ridiculously late and he had quietly mentioned that he wanted to marry her, the entire position lost its luster. She loved her job, but it seemed far more important to take care of her family. Still, in the back of her mind, she _knew _she could rock the job, and furthermore, she _knew _she was probably the best person for the job. And now she's excited to try her hand.

"You _know_ Derek, Mark, and Burke would freaking kill you for that job. If that's not the hospital's equivalent of royalty, I don't know what is!"

"Whatever you say, Cal. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work."

"Always."

0ooo0

"Hey, boss," Callie grins, poking her head into Addison's shiny, new office.

Addison looks up from her paperwork. There _is _a lot of paperwork. "Hey, Callie. What's up?"

"You up for a drink after work? I know you have your whole "I don't get drunk on work nights" thing, but just tonight?"

"Yeah, sure," Addison agrees. "Sounds good. It's not like I've got anything to do."

"Okay, I'll come meet you when I'm done. And remember, you promised, so you can't back out and work late like always."

"Callie, I'll be there!"

"I feel like I should have recorded that."

Addison shakes her head. "I'm not that much of a workaholic. I'll meet you in the lobby when you text me, okay?"

"A deal is a deal!"

0ooo0

"That guy is totally checking you out," Callie announces as they sit at Joe's.

Addison glances casually over her shoulder, disguising it as a hair flip. He _is _kind of hot. Besides, being checked out is flattering. Guys don't tend to check out women who have barely brushed their hair and are trailing six-year-olds.

"You should go talk to him," Callie says.

Addison shakes her head. "No, I don't think so."

"Why not?" Callie pouts.

"Because… because I've never seen him before."

"So? Come on, Addison. We all have to hook up with random guys every once in awhile. It's good for the soul!"

Addison rolls her eyes. "You going to put that in a self-help book?"

"Hell yes!"

"You're ridiculous," Addison giggles fondly.

"And _you _are stalling. Go talk to him. I'll come rescue you if he's a lunatic."

"No," Addison refuses. "I… I just can't."

"Are you still hung up on Derek?"

"No!"

"Oh my God, please do not tell me this is about Mark!"

"This isn't about Mark either!"

"Then what's this about?"

"I… nothing."

"Liar."

"I don't want to talk about it. I just don't want to talk to him."

Callie's eyes widen. "I don't think you have a choice. He's kind of coming over."

A wave of panic washes over Addison and without thinking, she blurts, "Do I look okay?"

"Gorgeous," Callie answers with an encouraging smile.

"Excuse me," the man says, tapping her gently on the shoulder. "I'm sorry if I was staring earlier. You just seem so familiar. Is your name by any chance Samantha?"

Addison turns around. It's not Alex, that's her first thought. The sandy blond hair and blue eyes immediately prove him to not be Alex. "Um, I'm sorry. You must have me confused with someone else," she replies.

"Oh. I am so sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. Um, do you think I could buy you a drink?"

"That's awfully forward, don't you think?" Addison grins.

"Well, it's the least I can do to make up for mistaking you for someone else. I'm crazy to have thought I knew someone so… clearly not like anybody else."

"Laying it on a little thick aren't you?"

"I'm hoping to get you to say yes."

She studies him and then glances down at her now empty glass. "Well, okay. But only because I'm afraid I might drown in your sea of compliments if I don't."

He beams and holds out his hand. "I'm Brad, by the way."

"Addison."

0ooo0

Three hours. They end up talking for three hours. Addison notices him slowly moving towards her and allows it. She's having a good time; they seem to have a lot in common and their senses of humor are complementary.

"I have a confession," Brad announces.

"What?"

"I didn't think I knew you before. I don't actually know a Samantha. I just saw you and knew I had to know you now."

"I have a confession too," Addison admits.

"What?"

"I knew that when you came over."

"And here I was, thinking I was so smooth!" he pretends to sulk.

Addison laughs. "It's okay. Some men just aren't cut out for deception."

"I guess I'm one of them. Is that a good thing?"

"Absolutely," Addison nods. "The world needs good guys."

"I have another confession," Brad says.

"What?"

"All I can think about right now is your lips." And with that confession, he leans in and kisses her.

It takes her by surprise and she kisses back, but suddenly she gets a mental picture of Alex and jerks back. "I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I just… I can't."

And then she flees.

0ooo0

She bangs on her neighbor's door. "_What_?" Katelyn snaps when she yanks the door open.

"I want to go home," Addison proclaims.

"I can't do that."

"Why not?"

"Because you haven't figured it out yet."

"Figured what out?"

"I can't tell you. You have to figure it out."

Addison nearly screams in frustration and storms back to her house. In the week she's been in this weird world, her house had seemed more and more like home. The decorations became beautiful to her and the house never really felt empty. When she roars into the living room, it's all still gorgeous, but she can't tell if it's really her and it seems too big for just one person.

Exhaustion rolls over her and she decides that everything can wait. Instead of dealing with it now, she's going to sleep.

0ooo0

The next morning, her mood hasn't really improved, but the day is sunny so it helps to at least get her out of bed. She gets dressed and goes to work.

She feels like throwing something or hurting someone until she walks into the lobby and almost through Alex Karev. "Alex!" she exclaims. "Sorry, I just…"

"It's fine, Dr. Montgomery," he replies, quickly stepping away from her. Addison feels like someone punched her in the stomach.

"Um, well, yeah, sorry," she stammers. "My fault."

"It's fine," he repeats. "Sorry, but I'm in a hurry. I have to go."

He hurries away from her. She doesn't mean to stare wistfully after him, but she does. And that is probably a mistake. He greets a woman and little girl at the door of the hospital with a kiss for each.

Addison freezes. When she looks closer, the woman is Izzie Stevens. Addison can feel the air leaving the room. She doesn't think it could get any worse, but it does when she studies the little girl.

It's Nasia.

Her daughter.

Her daughter holding Izzie Stevens' hand.

And her husband kissing Izzie Stevens' lips.

If Alex calling her Dr. Montgomery had been a punch to the stomach, this is a knife to the chest.

Taking a shaky breath, she walks over to them, trembling. "Dr. Karev," she says, pasting a fake smile on her face. "Is this your family?"

He looks at her like she's a little odd. "You know Izzie. But I guess you haven't my daughter. This is Nasia."

"Say hi to Dr. Montgomery," Izzie insists.

"Hi," Nasia greets shyly. Then she looks up at Izzie. "Mommy, can we go now? Bucket is getting lonely at the vet!"

"Um, excuse me," Addison says weakly before rushing away. She slams into the nearest restroom and throws up what little breakfast there is in her stomach.

The bathroom door opens. "Uh, Addison?"

Addison wipes her mouth and flushes the toilet before leaving the stall. "Yes?" she asks miserably.

"You okay?" It's Katelyn, wearing scrubs and looking concerned.

"Not really," Addison croaks.

"What's up?"

Addison bites her lip but her usually effective method doesn't stop the tears this time. "This isn't what I want," she says. "I thought I needed a break but I didn't."

"So what _do _you need?"

"Nasia," Addison sighs. "I need Nasia and I need Alex and I need PTA meetings and bad handprint turkey projects and stupid fights. Hell, I even need the dog. I just… I need Nasia to hold my hand and I need Alex to tell me he loves me. That's what I need."

Katelyn grins. "Addison, I think that can be arranged. Why don't you go home and get some sleep? You're obviously sick. Can't have the future Chief spreading the stomach flu."

For once, Addison does as suggested. She doesn't really have the strength to fight with anybody anymore.

0ooo0

Addison wakes up to the sound of shattering glass. She runs out to the kitchen to find Alex sweeping up broken glass and trying to make sure Nasia keeps a firm hold on Bucket and that both of them stay away from the glass.

"What happened?" Addison frowns.

"I was carrying my glass and Bucket tripped me, Mommy!" Nasia exclaims. "And the glass broke! I'm sorry! Please don't be mad at Bucket! It wasn't her fault!"

She scoops up her little girl and buries her face in her hair. "It's okay, Nasi. I'm just glad nobody got hurt."

"I love you, Mommy," Nasia says, giving her mother a peck on the cheek.

"Why don't you and Bucket go play out back?" Addison suggests as Alex throws away the last of the glass. "Daddy and I need to talk."

Nasia looks wary but does as she's asked.

"Addison, look, about yesterday-" he starts.

"Yesterday?" Addison frowns.

"The thing I said about you not knowing what you want, I didn't… I mean…"

Addison cuts him off with a passionate kiss. "You were right. I didn't know. But you and Nasi. That's what I want. That's all."

"That's all?" he asks skeptically.

She grins. "And maybe another kiss."

He happily obliges. "I missed you," she murmurs.

"What?"

"Someday," she says, "remind me to tell you about my dream. Not now though."

"Okay?"

"I love you, Alex."

"Mommy, can Bucket and I watch TV?" Nasia asks. "It's cold outside and my tummy still kind of hurts."

Addison nods. Nasia turns on the television with Bucket following faithfully. Addison sits down next to Nasia and pulls her into her lap. Alex sits to Addison's left and drapes his arm around her. They sit in silence and watch cartoons.

Alex leans forward and whispers in her ear, "Love you too, Adds."

And that's when Addison notices the wishbone necklace she had worn for a week is gone.

* * *

**Happy Holidays! And feel better, Miss Katelyn!**

**-Juli-**


End file.
